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North Valley Internal Medicine

The Lost Art of Conversation

7/31/2015

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When was the last time you had a memorable phone conversation with your adult children? It’s been  ages for  me - it’s also been a point of contention with me, as it has been virtually impossible to have one.  I admit that talking on the phone is not one of my strong suits, But when I do want to talk, it is frustrating when person to person interaction via the Alexander Graham Bell instrument, presents such a challenge.

My adult,  45-50 year olds are always within arm's length of their smart phones - but when I call, they apparently flip over the screen and disregard my calls until such time when they are ready to speak to me. They would probably deny that but ...let’s just say I have certain parental instincts. I know when I have been blown off. The trouble with that scenario is that by the time they do return my call, I  have forgotten why I called in the first place.

What they have taken to doing is texting me. Then, rather than have a stimulating back and forth conversation on the aforementioned Bell device, we will respond to each other’s queries by way of small bytes and streams of text without ever hearing a human voice; neat, tidy, efficient.

I must say that there are benefits to this approach. I learned that from one of my very busy daughter in law. She spends a good part of her day communicating with clients via the Internet. To her, texting is a quick, clean way of communicating with each other, so it works and I have learned to use it to my advantage.

My crew is basically a bunch of sensitive hotheads, myself included - and are particularly sensitive to innuendos, raised voices, questioning tones, rolled eyes and all manner of body language as in head shaking ( in disbelief) When texting, those nuances can't be easily picked up. As a result, It’s easier to avoid arguments and misunderstandings when my message is delivered via a text. I do quite often use big words in my diatribes, words that my young old ones have never taken the time to master. I think that disturbs them … I love it. Actually, that’s not the whole truth. The truth is that some of the words and phraseology I employ are deemed archaic and no longer able to be found in today’s dictionaries.

So in some ways, I have capitulated - and now accept their new methods. Texting is better than nothing.  I am concerned however when I think of how they will respond someday to the message that their old man is drawing his last breaths.

I can see it now, three texts from my three: “Please advise when dad is in the middle of his last breath, so we can pay our last respects before the old goat gives up the ship.”

I’m fine with that. I wrote my will accordingly. It fits right in with that attitude.  I do love them - remind me to text that over to them.
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2330 S. Milford Rd. Suite 120
Highland, MI 48357

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