The latest product that you never realized you needed is the ibrain, an advanced bit of highly sophisticated technology which allows a tiny ibrain computer to be implanted in the brain. It will allow what's left of a person’s non applelized brain to perform all the combined functions made possible by the earlier generations of apple stuff plus a number of secret applications we’ve been told are too secret to be shared.
The ibrain takes control of virtually all of our bodily functions. No longer will humans be required to perform any of the mundane tasks expected of us.The new ibrain records everything we do and every word we say into a living bit of data that documents every bit of your life. It is then stored in a new Apple Cloud in a secret location deep in Applelachia. You and your friends can now watch and “Like’ every phase of each other’s life on the new Facebook add on. You will never be required to speak again as all your thoughts and actions will be captured and transmitted via u-boob.
The whole world can now read your pulse, blood pressure and other vital signs . The new ibrain device promises you will never have to vote, offer an opinion or for that matter, communicate again. Your new ibrain will take care of all those things for the rest of your life, as all your thoughts will be instantly transmitted to whomever is interested in you or in your opinions.
For additional information about ibrain, contact Appegoogazon today. Sign up and transfer your banking account info. You won’t be needing it any longer. Remember, an Apple a day keeps the doctor away. Oops-sorry Dr.B. How do you like them apples?